Il mio approccio “niente buoni propositi per l’anno nuovo”

(read in English)

Anno nuovo, vita nuova? No, grazie! Questo è ciò che direi a chi mi chiede quali sono i miei buoni propositi per il nuovo anno. Gennaio è un mese pieno di tante belle parole, grandi promesse, propositi impeccabili e tante chiacchiere a tema “nuovo anno, vita nuova”. Non mi è mai piaciuto tutto questo parlare dei piani perfetti per il nuovo anno, giudicando sè stessi per quello che è successo in passato. Non sono una persona da buoni propositi ma devo ammettere che mi piace l’idea di UN NUOVO INIZIO, specialmente se questo include un po’ di motivazione extra (che non guasta mai) e se l’idea di passare all’azione ti fa stare bene e ti rende felice!

Pianificare una serie di buoni propositi per me significa avere un problema specifico in mente che vuoi risolvere (problema -> possibile soluzione -> piano d’azione) – ovviamente non sono qui per giudicarti se hai dei propositi per il nuovo anno e ti senti sicura riguardo la tua scelta, ma ti lascio comunque qualche consiglio:

  1. controlla che ci sia veramente questo problema da risolvere
  2. fatti qualche domanda per essere certa di ciò che vuoi fare/ottenere (è davvero importante per te? E’ qualcosa di fattibile? E’ qualcosa che hai già provato a fare?)
  3. scomponi il tuo piano in parti più piccole: passa dall’avere un piano d’azione complesso a visualizzare passaggi piccoli, semplici, e facili da mettere in pratica

Ma torniamo al parlare dell’approccio “niente buoni propositi”…

Sia da un punto di vista generale che dal punto di vista del “i sani propositi di inizio anno”, riesci a vedere la differenza tra << voglio perdere peso, quindi a Gennaio dieta >> e << di recente ho mangiato tantissimi dolci perchè li cerco ogni volta che sono stressata, quindi voglio usare l’idea di Gennaio come un nuovo inizio per scoprire una modo efficace per gestire lo stress e vorrei anche provare degli snacks diversi MA non perderò tempo a giudicarmi e sono consapevole del fatto che mangiare qualcosa di dolce quando sono molto stressata non è la fine del mondo. Vorrei anche provare a domandarmi più spesso cose tipo “cosa cerco veramente? Di cosa ho veramente bisogno?” >>

La prima frase è dettata dalla ricerca di una soluzione rapida e non include farsi domande sul proposito per il nuovo anno o chiedersi perchè è qualcosa di importante a livello personale o che vantaggi ci sarebbero nel raggiungere quest’obiettivo. Ora leggi un’altra volta la seconda frase. Riesci a vedere come essa non sia soltanto più completa ma, con poche parole, ti suggerisce già di vedere le cose da un punto di vista diverso e ti motiva a farti più domande su quest’idea di perdere peso? Potresti anche scoprire che in realtà perdere peso non è nemmeno una cosa che ti interessa…

  • Non hai bisogno di fare CONFRONTI con altre persone
  • E’ importante rimanere concentrati su ciò che è veramente importante PER TE
  • Non devi per forza unirti ai classici buoni propositi ma ciò che dovresti fare è creare una lista di OBIETTIVI veramente tua con un approccio che non ti faccia sentire costantemente sotto accusa
  • Puoi trovare un motivo d’ISPIRAZIONE positivo che ti aiuti ad attuare un cambiamento (considerando sempre se devi e vuoi effettivamente cambiare qualcosa)
  • Includi nel prossimo futuro ciò che ti rende FELICE e ciò che è strettamente correlato al VOLERSI BENE
  • Un’idea che si potrebbe usare come punto di partenza: una lista “ciò che pensi dovresti fare vs ciò che veramente vuoi”
  • I classici buoni propositi pieni di grandi promesse sono decisamente attraenti ma lavorare su di te è qualcosa pronto a ricompensarti molto ed a lungo termine!

All’inizio di un nuovo anno, non mi sento in colpa per quello che ho fatto o non fatto, mangiato o non mangiato durante l’ultimo anno o mese… invece sono concentrata sulla giusta motivazione e tutte le cose positive che mi possono aiutare a prendermi cura di me stessa giorno dopo giorno. Rifletto sull’anno passato e guardo da un punto di vista diverso il percorso che mi ha portata fino a qui. Ho imparato dai miei errori e sono pronta a dare il giusto valore ad ogni piccolo passo avanti che farò. Sono pronta a…

  • valorizzare me stessa, il mio corpo, la mia salute ed il mio benessere
  • rimanere concentrata sui miei punti di forza e lavorare su ciò che mi ostacola nel raggiungere i miei obiettivi
  • ricordare a me stessa più spesso che IO SONO ABBASTANZA
  • concedere a me stessa di vivere profondamente sia sentimenti positivi che negativi (fanno tutti parte di me)
  • concentrarmi sul mio percorso e chiedermi, ogni volta che inizierò a confrontare me stessa o la mia vita con qualcun’altro, “cosa sto cercando esattamente?”
  • essere più focalizzata su un sentimento di abbondanza piuttosto che qualcosa dettato dalle restrizioni

Ogni anno sarà diverso ma, ora come ora, queste sono le cose che ho deciso di includere in questo “nuovo inizio” perchè sono tematiche su cui devo lavorare. Non mi sto preoccupando chiedendomi cose tipo “riuscirò a fare tutto? O almeno una cosa? E se sarà un fallimento?” perchè punto a fare dei passi avanti e non ad avere la vita perfetta. Non ho esattamente un piano per mettere queste cose in pratica: continuerò semplicemente a fare ciò che ho fatto negli ultimi tempi e migliorare/cambiare le cose passo dopo passo. Ogni giorno:

  • Mi chiedo “per cosa sono grata oggi?” e cerco di scrivere quante più cose mi vengono in mente (nei momenti difficili o stressanti, provo a scrivere anche più cose del solito in questa lista). Mi assicuro sempre che ciò che includo in questa lista non sia un mucchio di cose a caso: deve essere un vero senso di GRATITUDINE
  • Mi concentro su una parola o una frase che mi fa sentire bene, motivata, pronta a scegliere ciò che è meglio per me – identifico questa frase/parola chiedendomi con molta onestà come mi sento
  • Scrivo a proposito della mia vita e della mia attività, mi pongo delle domande e cerco di evitare di avere paura delle risposte che potrei trovare. Una buona fetta di questo lavoro su me stessa e sul mio approccio alle cose, riguarda la mia attività, perchè ho imparato che è molto importante concentrarsi anche su queste cose quando si è il capo di sè stessi, ma è assolutamente possibile farlo parlando anche soltanto della propria vita personale (dipende ovviamente da che risultati vuoi ottenere da tutto ciò).

Quindi… unisciti a me in questo invito a volersi bene! E ricordati: non gira tutto intorno a “anno nuovo, vita nuova” – semplicemente, cerca meglio dentro di te e… sii pronta a risplendere!

Chiara x


Vorresti sapere qualcosa di più su quest’argomento e su come fare il primo passo in questo percorso di crescita personale per conoscerti meglio? Parliamone! Pianifica la tua prima consulenza GRATUITA con me usando il bottone qui sotto:

SCHEDULE A FREE CONSULTATION

My “no New Year’s resolutions” approach

(read in Italian)

New year, new me? No, thank you! This is how I would reply to someone who asks me about my resolutions for the new year. January is a month filled with brand new resolutions, big promises, and a lot of talking about “new year, new me”. I have never liked all this talking about setting big plans for the year ahead and judging yourself for what happened in the past. I don’t like new year’s resolutions but I like the idea of a FRESH START, especially if this is something that gives you some extra motivation and makes you excited (and happy!) to take action!

Planning a resolution to me means you have a specific issue in mind and you need to sort it out (problem -> possible solution -> action plan) – I’m obviously not judging you if you want to set your resolutions for the new year and feel confident about your choice, but here there’s my advice for you:

  1. check if there is a real issue that needs a solution
  2. be sure about what you want to do/reach (does it really matters to you? Is something achievable? Is something you tried to do before?)
  3. break your plan into small steps: turn a bigger plan into actions that are small, simple, and easy to visualise

Let’s get back to the “no resolutions” approach…

From both a general point of view and in terms of “healthy resolutions”, can you see the difference between << I want to lose weight so I will do a diet in January >> and << lately I have been eating too many sweets because I look for them every time I’m stressed, so I want to use the idea of January as a fresh start to both find a way to de-stress and try new snacks BUT I won’t judge myself and I understand that eating some sweets when I’m stressed is not the end of the world. I also want to ask myself more often this kind of questions “what am I really hungry for? what am I looking for?” >>

The idea behind the first sentence is looking for a quick fix without questioning the resolution or asking yourself why you should do that and how you feel now or which benefits you will get from accomplishing this goal. Now read again the second sentence. Can you see how this one is not only more complete but is already getting you on a different pathway and motivates you to ask yourself more questions about that idea of losing weight? Because maybe you don’t even care about losing weight…

  • There’s no need to COMPARE yourself to others
  • It’s important to stay focused on what really matters TO YOU
  • You don’t need to fit into a general resolution but what you should do instead is create INTENTIONS with a non-judgemental approach
  • Create a POSITIVE CALL to change (as long as you need that change)
  • Include in the foreseeable future what makes you HAPPY and what is rooted in SELF-LOVE
  • An idea to use as a starting point: make a list “what you think you need to do vs what you really want”
  • Big, bright and shiny resolutions are definitely attractive but WORKING ON YOURSELF is so rewarding in the long term!

WHAT AM I DOING IN JANUARY? It’s the beginning of a new year, I don’t feel guilty for what I have done or not done, eaten or not eaten during the last year or month… instead, I am trying to focus on all the positive things and on my motivation to take care of myself on a DAILY BASIS. I reflect on my past year and check from a different perspective the path that brought me here. I have learned some important lessons from my mistakes and I am ready to celebrate every little progress that will come. I am ready to…

  • celebrate myself, my body, health, and well-being
  • stay focused on my strengths and working on letting go of what is holding me back
  • remind myself anytime I will feel lost that I AM ENOUGH
  • allow myself to fully feel all the feelings
  • stay focused on my path and ask myself anytime I get into the comparison trap “what exactly am I looking for?”
  • be more focused on what I can ALLOW to come into my life/business, rather than on what I need to cut out (abundance vs restriction)

Each year will be different but right now these are the things I want to include into this “fresh start” because they are areas in which I need to work on. I’m not getting worried asking myself “will I manage to do all of them? Or even just one? What if I fail?” because I strive for progress and not perfection. I don’t have a real plan on how to put them into practice but I will simply keep trying what I have been doing lately and improve/change things step by step. Every day:

  • I ask myself “what am I grateful for?” and try to write down as many things as I can remember – I will try to write down even more things even I had some bad days or a stressful time). I always try to ensure I’m not coming up with random things just because I need to make a list: it needs to be real GRATITUDE
  • I stay focused on a word or a sentence that makes me feel empowered, and I come up with this by asking myself how I really feel
  • I journal about my life and business goals, I ask myself questions, and I try to avoid being afraid of the possible answers I’ll find. A big part of this journaling work is related to my business because the mindset makes a huge part of having your own business, but you could totally do this simply staying focused just on your personal life (it depends from what you want to get from this work)

Join me on starting the new year with this SELF-LOVE revolution! And remember: it’s not about “new year, new me” – you just need to have a better look inside you and… BE READY TO SHINE!

Chiara x


Would you like to learn more about how to improve your mindset work and get started on this amazing journey of self-discovery? Let’s have a chat! Use the button below to schedule your first FREE consultation with me

SCHEDULE A FREE CONSULTATION

My experience with a Reflexology treatment

My series of blog posts in which I meet other people who work in the wellness world continues with… reflexology! You have probably heard about it, but if you never had the chance to give it a go, here you’ll be able to find more information and see if this treatment may suit your needs.

Recently, I had the pleasure to receive a reflexology treatment from Laura Gil at Dublin Wellness Centre. Reflexology is a complementary therapy focused on the feet and aims to support the body on its way to re-balance. I really liked how Laura talks about the treatment as something to “awaken” the body and give it some extra motivation to work at its best. The human body is a wonderfully complex system but there are so many things we need to take into account when we talk about health and well-being. For example, do you ever stop for a minute and think how stress affects you both physically and mentally? There is a study published in 2000 in which the researchers looked at the effect of foot massage sessions on patients in critical care (a stressful environment): they noticed a significant reduction in stress by looking at data for heart rate, respiration, and blood pressure. Interesting, right?

DSC_1554-2

DSC_1537-2

Reflexology is based on the idea that our feet mirror the whole body so, by applying pressure to a specific part of the feet, you may not only have a positive effect from a general point of view, but also on the corresponding area of the body.

As a holistic therapist, Laura considers her clients as a whole person and with her treatments gives them the right support to go to the roots of their issues. The reflexology session starts by establishing a connection with the person to create a more relaxed and supportive environment, then Laura does a full feet massage – only later on during the session, she will focus more on specific points: she basically teams up with your feet to understand better which areas need more attention and how much pressure she should apply.

The whole treatment encourages the body not only to relax but also to work at its best, to have a better response to external messages, and to find again its balance. It perfectly fits into these series on blog posts, because with them I want to show you how you can easily support your well-being in several ways – this is a simple treatment that goes straight to the point, and it’s perfect for a quick session even at lunchtime (Laura usually does a 1-hour treatment).

DSC_1557

DSC_1523

SOME DETAILS…

My specific needs: the only two issues I was dealing with on the day in which I had my treatment with Laura where basically stress and a recurrent pain due to last year’s breast surgery (another story that you can read here). Laura took some time before the treatment to have a chat with me and tell me something about how reflexology works. The results: right after the treatment I was relaxed and energised at the same time – I guess part of the “extra energy” was due to my feet that were feeling way lighter than before and to a deep sense of self-love towards my body (something like “hey, I’m your body and I want to thank you for taking care of me! Let’s do it again soon!”). The session with Laura definitely moved something because I’ve noticed that extra energy for several days after the treatment, and it also gave me a few things to think about. If you are curious to know what she talked about at the end of the treatment: the complaints I had at the begin of the session were basically confirmed from her by reading my feet: a strong body’s response to stress, plenty of overthinking, water-retention, and emotional blockages.

Laura meets clients with a wide range of issues, including stress, fertility, and pregnancy.

I would definitely recommend having this treatment with Laura if you live in Dublin or nearby – it’s a good value for money (€60) and her gentle, relaxing, and down-to-earth approach will definitely help you to feel comfortable and enjoy the treatment. I also hope that what I’ve written here will be helpful and inspiring for all of you who live somewhere else!

Chiara x


ABOUT LAURA

Coming from a fitness and dance background Laura has always been concerned about the importance of health. Alternative medicine has strongly led her to the belief that we can heal ourselves by listening to what our bodies have to tell us.

Her passion for massage and complementary therapies began at a very young age and have continued to blossom ever since. Laura’s father was also involved in energy work and she has fond childhood memories playing with ‘magic stones’ and being in awe of the power of her dad’s hands when she wasn’t feeling well.

She always had a special interest in Reiki and energy work, having attended many different workshops in her native home of Barcelona. On the other hand, reflexology was always calling her attention. She has always been eager to learn more about helping others, but also herself.

It wasn’t until she travelled to Ireland that she decided to start her journey as a therapist by completing the Reiki Master Teacher and practitioner training and also studying Reflexology in the highly recognized Holistic College Dublin, taught by the inspirational Alison Kavanagh.

During her training, she had the pleasure to attend a post-graduate course with Chris Stormer, entitled ‘Language of the Feet’ and ‘Understanding allergies and intolerances through the feet’. This course really opened her eyes to the messages our feet are telling us about ourselves.

Her dancing career began at a very young age and spanned across several dancing genres, but it is with Belly Dance where her strongest passion lies. She began Belly dance following a doctor’s recommendation and it was here where she found her mind, body and soul awaken through the art of this elegant dance. It also sparked her interest in helping women’s health. She carries this interest with her still today and it is the reason why she specialized in fertility and maternity reflexology through the Obus School of Healing Therapies.

She offers sessions in both Reiki and Reflexology and also offers a special combination of the two if necessary. She applies Reiki to her reflexology treatments to enhance healing and relaxation. It can also have brilliant benefits when attending specific areas on the feet after a Reiki session. Each session is followed by a personal consultation, in which a discussion on how to aid recovery is professionally conducted. By combining self-treatment-techniques with the therapy sessions a positive first step is made in nurturing, not just your body, but also your mind and spirit.

Laura is an ITEC qualified Reflexologist specialized in Fertility and Maternity treatments. She also has developed a special interest in helping stress-related issues.

As a member of the National Register of Reflexologists Ireland, Laura’s reflexology treatments are covered by VHI, Laya, Aviva and Glo Healthcare.

To find more details about her treatments and schedule an appointment with Laura, click HERE

My experience with a Facial Rejuvenation treatment

If you have been following my blog or social media pages for a while, you know that I’m a huge supporter of all the little things that can help us to take a better care of ourselves on a daily basis. Many people think that self-care means having at least one day off each week to spend taking care of themselves and having only that single thing to do. We all know that reality is a little bit different, things don’t always go as planned and it’s not so common having the chance to dedicate one entire day each week to yourself. So, it’s important to think about what you can do on a daily basis to show yourself some love… small choices that seem simple but can actually be life-changing!

I’d like to help you figure out what you can do at home in first place and also simple treatments that you can book without necessarily have to take a day off at the spa. That’s why I’d like to meet other people who work in the wellness world and give you some examples of HOW YOU CAN EASILY SUPPORT YOUR WELL-BEING in different ways… you’ll hear from my voice about the treatment, how does it work, how it made me feel and which are the benefits that I’ve noticed.

Recently, I had the pleasure to try a Chinese Cupping and Gua Sha Facial Rejuvenation treatment with Amanda Nordell at Dublin Wellness Centre: it’s a treatment based on a combination of different techniques that Amanda carefully adapts to your own needs.

DSC_1053-2

What is it all about? The treatment lasts approx. 1 hour and includes the use of gua sha tools, a jade roller, natural facial oils, cupping (with silicone cups), basalt stones, and a face mask. You can also get a standard acupuncture treatment as part of the session as an extra support for your well-being and general balance. It’s a relaxing hour and even if it may sound a bit scary getting cupping on your face, the truth is that it doesn’t hurt and leaves no red marks, my skin was refreshed and rejuvenated following the treatment.

The combination of facial cupping and gua sha is both relaxing for the mind and body, and invigorating for the complexion and facial muscles. For this kind of treatment, Amanda works with clients who have a wide range of needs, including who have specific skin conditions such as acne, rosacea, psoriasis, or eczema and also with people who want to prevent/reduce the signs of aging. The facial can help reduce fine lines and wrinkles and reduce sagging tendencies. As she mentioned to me, there’s no downtime after the session and this makes it even easier for all of us thinking to fit this relaxing time into a busy schedule.

What I really loved about the treatment (apart from the glowing skin that I had right after it) is the idea that it helps your whole face to find its balance again and to shine from the inside out – it’s a way to give some extra support to your skin and muscles on their everyday job. No magic tricks or big promises: it’s a deep and gentle facial massage based on specific instruments, nutrients (from oils and masks), and temperatures.

Something else I really appreciated is the approach that Amanda has toward natural products. We are all aware that the word “natural” is used to advertise a wide range of stuff (and often is the perfect way to trick customers) and it can have several meanings – the best thing to do is having a better look at what there is actually behind the “natural” label. As Amanda mentioned to me, her focus is on getting products that are organic when possible, and free from parabens, silicones, mineral oil, and alcohol.

DSC_1014.jpg

SOME DETAILS…

My specific needs: I’ve received the treatment a few days after having a cold, with a sinus inflammation, a dry skin (I tend to have a dry skin due to psoriasis but this time was also due to the previous cold), and a few hormonal spots. Amanda took some time before starting the treatment to have a chat, tell me that the treatment could also be helpful for my sinus inflammation, explain to me that she decided to use a hydrating bamboo mask and that the hormonal spots may worsen after the session but only because the skin is clearing itself. The results: right after the treatment I was relaxed and energised at the same time – it’s a facial but it lasts one hour, so it actually feels like taking a proper “self-care break” in the middle of the day. I’ve noticed immediately the re-hydration and a clear change in my skin’s texture, the entire face looked (and felt) renovated and refreshed – hormonal spots cleared after a few days and I had a good improvement in my sinus inflammation. I always preach about listening to your body and what mine told me in the evening after the session with Amanda was to slow down and take more time off (I even went in bed way earlier than usual). Every time I go for a treatment or I do something to take care of myself, I always feel some extra motivation afterward to keep doing it and to be more consistent in adding self-care into my priorities (when I’m busy I tend to forget about using face creams, oils, self-massage, etc).

DSC_1008

The treatment is divided into several steps: it starts with a gentle and quick massage to apply the oil, then the use of some tools (jade roller, gua sha, etc..) not only helps with muscles and blood circulation, but it also allows the oil to be absorbed better into the skin. Gua sha, jade roller, and cupping are used before the mask, then basalt stones are the final part of the session. The tools for gua sha are used to do a gentle scraping action on the skin (this means that the layers are starting to be stimulated – you’ll also feel the skin that gets warmer), while the jade roller is naturally cold and massages the face. The technique used for cupping promotes circulation and relieves muscle tension (warm temperature), the mask nourishes the skin and the basalt stones are used again to massage the face.

Even if I love getting a massage and I truly believe that treatments like massage or acupuncture are a great and simple way to support our well-being (from both personal experience and from what I’ve learned in my training to become a Lomi Lomi massage therapist), I’m usually not keen in booking myself in for a facial. But this treatment is actually something completely different because it involves the use of tools and all the different steps follow a logical pathway that you can clearly understand and feel with all the little changes on your skin.

I would definitely recommend having this treatment with Amanda if you live in Dublin or nearby – it’s a good value for money (€65) and her non-judgemental, experienced, and down-to-earth approach will definitely help you to feel comfortable and enjoy the treatment. I also hope that what I’ve written here will be helpful and inspiring for all of you who live somewhere else!

Chiara x

DSC_1037-2


ABOUT AMANDA:

Amanda is a registered acupuncturist with AFPA, the oldest and largest professional body for practitioners of Traditional Chinese Medicine in Ireland. She is a graduate of The Acupuncture Foundation of Ireland and has completed a clinical internship at the WHO Collaborative Center of Traditional Medicine at Nanjing University, China. This programme consisted of extensive clinical instruction at Jiangsu Province General Hospital and Military Hospital 454.

Amanda was privileged to work with the renowned Dr. Wen Lei Qiao during her time in China. Dr. Qiao’s treatment philosophy is well respected across Europe and the world. Her principles of pain-free needling, use of a few needles as possible along with a gentle, consultative approach with clients is proven to create optimum results. Amanda adheres to this approach and in addition to traditional body acupuncture she uses abdominal, auricular (ear) and wrist-ankle acupuncture techniques. Also, traditional Chinese cupping therapy and moxibustion.

Amanda has 20 years of experience working in the areas of health and social care firstly as a nurse and subsequently in the area of child and vulnerable adult protection. She has worked in general medicine, surgery, pediatrics, care of the elderly, mental health, learning disability and addiction. Amanda draws on this knowledge to provide a holistic, person-centered experience for each patient treating them according to their unique specific symptoms.

Through the principles of Traditional Chinese Medicine, she focuses on promoting health, preventing illness, and treating health challenges through natural alternatives that complement and enhance Western Medicine treatments.

To find more details about the treatments and schedule an appointment with Amanda, click HERE: www.amandanordell.com

Può arrivare il punto in cui anche la positività diventa troppa?

(read in English)

Tutto il mondo che ruota intorno alle varie sfaccettature del benessere sembra essere immerso in un’ondata di energia positiva – devo dire che questo è decisamente qualcosa che apprezzo, ma riconosco anche che sia importante tracciare dei confini a livello personale, perchè tutta questa positività, ad un certo punto, può inziare ad essere troppa. Bisogna imparare ad affrontare anche gli aspetti negativi delle cose, essere in grado di viverli e, coscientemente, andare avanti – non puoi semplicemente nascondere le cose sotto al tappeto, perchè prima o poi verranno fuori comunque.

Più o meno questo è quello che è accaduto a me di recente, così ho pensato di condividere qualche parola su questa storia perchè potrebbe essere utile per qualcun’altro.

20180811_143804

Io sono il tipo di persona che solitamente pretende tanto da sè stessa – sebbene riesca ad essere abbastanza realistica nei confronti delle altre persone, spesso finisco per avere invece alte aspettative verso di me. Anno dopo anno, ho imparato pian piano a gestire meglio questa cosa, a “lasciar correre” un po’ ogni tanto, a concedermi di fare (o non fare) le cose seguendo i miei tempi, ed a iniziare ad accettare di più le cose per quello che sono – non è facile, ma ne vale la pena.

Lo scorso anno ho subito un’operazione al seno (la seconda nel giro di pochi anni – preoccupante lì per lì, ma nulla di grave) e mi è servito un intero anno per “vivere” veramente quest’esperienza. Tutto è andato alla perfezione, non ho avuto nessuna complicazione dopo l’operazione come era accaduto la prima volta, ed io ero contenta per il fatto di sentirmi così in forma che non ho nemmeno perso giorni di lavoro (complice anche il vantaggio di lavorare da casa!). Sapevo che avrei ricevuto una chiamata per l’operazione, quindi ho avuto tutto il tempo per organizzarmi al meglio: cucinare e congelare cose da mangiare già pronte, assicurarmi che la dispensa fosse piena di tutti gli ingredienti che mi potrebbero essere stati utili, preparare in anticipo materiale per i social media per far andare comunque avanti la mia attività, programmare l’agenda in modo da non avere consulenze nei giorni subito dopo l’operazione, e, soprattutto, fare tantissime raccomandazioni al mio ragazzo sul continuare a mangiare bene, giusto nel caso che qualcosa andasse storto. Inoltre, devo riconoscere che il mio corpo ha davvero collaborato, recuperando in fretta ed al meglio.

“Guardiamo al lato positivo, sono stata così fortunata!” – questo è stato il mio mantra durante lo scorso anno. Non c’è nulla di sbagliato con tutta questa positività, giusto? Pur volendo essere d’accordo su questo punto, la verità è un po’ diversa… in pratica ho deciso di nascondere sotto al tappeto tutte le paure, ansie, preoccupazioni, lacrime, ed ogni altro pensiero negativo. Dovevano tornare a galla ad un certo punto…

Qualche settimana fa, leggendo una serie di cose nemmeno collegate (che parlavano di donne e mentalità/approccio verso sè stessi, ed altre cose invece legate al portare la pratica yoga al di fuori del tappettino – la maggior parte lette sulle pagine Instagram di Nicky Clinch e Kino MacGregor), ho finalmente capito che a volte devi smetterla di voler trovare a tutti costi il lato positivo delle cose e focalizzarti solo su di esso, ma devi semplicemente dare al tuo corpo ed alla tua mente un po’ di tempo per guarire. Questo era il punto mancante nella mia storia.

I miei clienti dicono spesso che apprezzano il mio approccio pieno di positività e quanto esso gli serva come ispirazione, ma è importante anche imparare a delineare qualche confine qui e là. Sì, senza dubbio sono stata fortunata, ho dovuto solo prendere un bello spavento e poi poter tirare un sospiro di sollievo perchè era andato tutto bene, avevo solo un’altra cicatrice – ma dovevo anche rispettare e riconoscere quello che è stato il mio percorso. Nell’ultimo anno, sia a causa di un dolore fastidioso e ricorrente che mi ha accompagnata per gran parte delparecchio tempo, sia per alcuni blocchi “emozionali”, non sono riuscita ad essere costante con la mia pratica yoga come avrei voluto – c’era sempre qualcosa ad un certo punto che mi bloccava, come la paura di ogni piccolo spiraglio che si potesse aprire durante la pratica (era una cosa anche legata a tutte le posizioni che vengono chiamate “heart openers” – se hai un pochino di familiarità con lo yoga, capisci quello che intendo quando parlo di “spiragli”, che non sono qualcosa di fisico ma più a livello di emozioni).. quindi ho iniziato ad evitare alcune posizioni per un po’, ed a volte finivo proprio per evitare tutta la pratica.

DSC_2950

Capisco che per qualcuno questo discorso possa sembrare come una serie di scuse e devo ammettere che per un po’ l’ho pensato anche io – ad un certo punto mi sono convinta di essere semplicemente pigra ed aver iniziato ad inventare scuse di conseguenza… ecco tornato quell’atteggiamento che non mi concede nessun tipo di errore o debolezza! Poi però, ho provato a:

* essere semplicemente più gentile e comprensiva con me stessa
* pensare a quello che avrei detto a qualcuno che si fosse trovato nella mia stessa situazione
* accettare le cose per quello che sono e concedermi un po’ di tempo
* capire che queste non erano scuse, ma una barriera protettiva

Sono stati mesi ricchi di pazienza e comprensione, finchè non ho finalmente capito che era arrivato il momento di cambiare qualcosa. Durante gli ultimi anni ho lavorato tanto su me stessa per cercare di essere più presente e consapevole non solo riguardo l’alimentazione, ma in ogni aspetto della mia vita – il punto è che quando cerchi di evitare o nascondere una parte di quello che provi, non puoi essere del tutto presente e consapevole di quello che succede. Questo non vuole dire escludere a priori un senso di gratitudine o un approccio positivo, ma significa soltanto che hai imparato a rispettare e riconoscere sia gli aspetti positivi che quelli negativi per quello che sono: parte di te.

Capire che dovevo rispettare il mio percorso per quello che è, il mio corpo per essere stato forte, e me stessa per essere stata coraggiosa, mi ha fatto finalmente affrontare tutti gli spiragli che vanno via via aprendosi durante la pratica yoga e mi ha fatto accettare che “sì, sono stata fortunata e le cose sarebbero potute andare peggio, ma questo è il mio percorso, e se ha degli aspetti negativi va bene parlarne (e viverli) ad alta voce”.

Chiara x

Is there a thing like “too much positivity”?

(read in Italian)

I really love the positive energy that there is all around the wellness world but it’s important to learn how to set your own boundaries because even positivity can sometimes start to be overwhelming. You need to learn to face all the negative sides of things as well, be able to live them and consciously move on – you can’t simply sweep things under the carpet, because at some stage they will come up anyway.

This is basically what happened to me recently and I thought that sharing this brief story may be helpful for some of you.

20180811_143804

I am the kind of person that usually pretends a lot from herself – while I tend to be more realistic towards other people, I often have high expectations regarding myself. Year after year, I have slowly learned to let go a little, to allow myself to do (or not do) things at my own pace, and to introduce a certain degree of “acceptance” – not easy, but worth it.

Last year, I had to go through a breast surgery (the second one in a few years time – scary, but nothing to be worried about now) and it took me one whole year to truly “live” the experience. Everything went really smooth, I didn’t have any post-op issue like I had after the first one, and I was delighted with the idea of feeling so good that I didn’t even miss days of work (perks of working from home!). I was expecting a call for the surgery so I had time to organise everything: cook and freeze meals, stock up the kitchen with all the foods that could come in useful, plan social media posts to keep my business running, a schedule with no clients’ appointments for the days right after the surgery, and plenty of recommendations for my boyfriend to keep eating well, just in case something goes wrong. In addition, my body did an amazing job and recovered well and quickly.

“Let’s look at the positive side, I have been so lucky!” – this has been my mantra for the past year. Nothing wrong with all this positivity, right? I would agree with you, but the truth is… I have basically decided to sweep under the carpet all the fear, anxiety, worries, tears, and any other negative thought. They had to come out at some stage…

A few weeks ago, reading things here and there (mainly about women and mindset, and stuff related to the yoga practice outside of the mat – most of them coming from Nicky Clinch and Kino MacGregor Instagram feeds) I have finally realised that sometimes you just need to stop looking for the positive side of things all the time, and simply give your body and mind time to heal. This was the missing point of my story.

Even my clients tell me all the time that they appreciate my positive approach and how I inspire them with it, but you also need to set some realistic boundaries. Yes, I have been lucky, I just had to feel scared and then relieved ’cause everything was fine, I only had another scar – but I needed to honor my journey. During the last year, both a recurrent annoying pain that has been with me for a lot of time and some sort of emotional blockages, didn’t allow me to do my yoga practice as I wanted – at some stage there was always something that stopped me, like a fear of each small “opening” that could occur during the practice (especially anything related to the heart openers – if you are familiar with yoga, you understand what I mean by “openings”, that are not something physical but emotional).. so I have been avoiding specific poses for a while, and sometimes even the entire practice.

DSC_2950

I know that this will sound like a bunch of excuses to some of you, because it has been the same for me as well – at some stage, I though that I was simply being lazy and coming up with any sort of excuses… here comes again the self-judgement that doesn’t allow mistakes or weaknesses! But then, I have tried to:

* simply be kind to myself
* think about what I would have said to somebody else in the same situation
* accept the situation and give myself some time
* understand that these were not excuses, but a defensive barrier

Months full of patience and kindness, until I have realised that it was finally time to change something. During the last years, I have done a lot of work to be more aware around food and regarding each area of my life, but when you try to avoid or hide part of your feelings you can’t be fully aware of what’s actually going on – this doesn’t mean that you can’t be grateful or have a positive mindset, but that you have learned to honor both positive and negative feelings for what they are: part of you.

Realising that I needed to honor my journey for what it is, my body for being strong, and myself for being brave, allowed me to finally face the fears of “openings” during my yoga practice and to accept that “yes, I have been lucky and things could have been worse, but this is my journey, and if has some negative sides, it’s perfectly fine to tell (and live) them out loud”.

Chiara x